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Book Reviews
Title: Crooked Smile: One Family's Journey Toward Healing, by Lainie Cohen, 2003
Publisher: Toronto, ECW Press, 2003
ISBN: 1-55022-573-1
Price: paper $19.95 CA
Description: 337 pp.
I have just completed reading this excellent story by Lainie Cohen about her family's experience with their son's long road back to recovery from a severe brain injury. I, too, am a mother of a son who survived a severe traumatic brain injury 16 years ago and while reading Lainie's story there were many times that I felt I was reading about my own family's ordeal. I didn't realize that I was carrying so many pent up emotions from so long ago. As early in the story as page 7 when Lainie describes "the phone call" , I became overwhelmed with emotion. It was like reliving the exact day and time that we were notified of Mike's motor vehicle crash.
I commend Lainie for her diligence in keeping a diary of the months that Daniel was in a coma and recording the details of all the ups and downs of their experiences during his rehabilitation. Again, it was like a mirror image of our family's experiences. We also have a family of four children and while reading Lainie's portrayal of how Daniel's injury effected parts of her relationship with her husband and children, I could relate to every detail.
I think that the care that Lainie took to describe relationships between friends and family members before Daniel's injury provided a clearer picture of how enormously everyone's life changed after the injury. When I first began to read them, I wondered what purpose this would provide or what it would add to most reader's understanding of what their family was going through. However, I soon changed my mind about my first impression-- the story would not have had the same impact without knowing the details of previous relationships.
Because my son, Mike, did not progress as far as Daniel, I found it easier to personally relate to the beginning of the book much more than towards the end of the story. However, that does not mean I did not relate or understand the issues. The book remained interesting, compelling and very real for me right to the end of her story.
Also, as early as Chapter Two when Lainie describes how life has changed for her family and reflecting how life could have been if not for Daniel's injury hit a very emotional spot for me. Again, I remember these early feelings of anger, sadness, confusion, devastation and regret and after reading Lanie's story realized that after 16 years have still not completely dealt with all of them, especially the "what-ifs."
The portion of the book that described Lainie and Joel's roller coaster of emotions when the father of John called to inquire about Daniel was very painful for me to read. I remember the call from the young lady's father (drunk driver of the vehicle Mike was in) after Mike's injury only too well... and again, it mirror imaged my husband John's and my emotions in every way.
The way Lainie describes the different styles that professionals have in presenting the bad news is right on the mark. There is a fine line between a realistic prognosis with "no hope" and a realistic prognosis that "provides hope". Families are desperately waiting and grasping for any particle of hope that they can hang on to.
Daniel's intense rehabilitation and the family support that he received through all of it is so heart-warming. I think all physicians who work with neuro patients would benefit from reading this story and learning what the human spirit is capable of achieving. Lainie's words painted a picture of every scene she described.
I felt that this book was very realistic and compelling in every chapter I read. I believe that Lainie's story would provide tremendous hope to families who are in similar circumstances. However, I would recommend that families are not ready to read this information until their loved one has emerged from coma and ready for some rehabilitation. I think that all health professionals working in the neuro field would gain a tremendous amount of insight into how drastically a family's life changes and how crucial it is to provide hope along with any negative information they may be sharing with the family.
I must end by thanking Lainie for giving me the opportunity to reflect and grieve again. Even though 16 years have passed since Mike incurred his brain injury, I wept while reading her story. My way of dealing with Mike's injury now is to immerse myself in my work as Executive Director of the Association for the Rehabilitation of the Brain Injured (ARBI) helping Mike and other's achieve their maximum potential and an improved quality of life.
I can relate to Lainie's new outlook on life. Her life is finally normal again-- it's just "new kind of normal" as Daniel is a "new and lovable Daniel."
I will recommend this book to families that I work with. I thank Lainie for baring her soul and most private thoughts in her story. It would not have had the same impact if she had not been so completely open and honest throughout her book.
Review by
Judy Stawnychko
Executive Director, Association for the Rehabilitation of the Brain Injured, Calgary, Alberta
Email: judy@arbi.ca
To read Gerrit Groeneweg's review of Crooked Smile, go to Groeneweg's Review
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