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Trauma, Healing and Reconciliation in Rwanda
by Regine Uwibereyeho King
Editor's Comment
From time to time we publish personal accounts of experiences that have life shaping influence. This presentation addressing post-traumatic stress disorder following the genocide in Rwanda is of such a nature.
Introduction
My name is Regine King. I am currently pursuing my Masters of Education degree in Counseling Psychology
at OISE/University of Toronto. I am from Rwanda, and the story I tell here is based on personal experience
as a 1994 genocide survivor who worked with the after match Rwandans in the program of trauma healing and
reconciliation.
After the destruction of Rwanda in 1994 that included the killings of loved ones, the loss of human
values, cultural boundaries that used to protect the Rwandese community, and properties, I can say change
that change is possible. I have seen people move from severe trauma to personal healing, and from healing
to become active agents of forgiveness and reconciliation.
Why trauma? Why forgiveness in Rwanda? Rwanda is a very small country located in the mid-east of Africa.
Though named a land of a thousand green hills because of it beauty, it has a bad reputation all over the
world since the 1994 genocide where one million of people were killed in only 100 days.
Rwandans speak the same language "kinyarwanda". The three ethnic groups that actually live Rwanda existed as
socio economic groups before the coming of colonialists. But the later exploited them to create divisions in order
to rule. Eventually these divisions created frustrations, prejudices and even hatred among the population of
Rwanda. The Hutu people, who are the majority, suppressed the Tutsi minority and were eventually incited to
eliminate the whole Tutsi population of Rwanda. In 100 days about one million Tutsi, along with some moderate
Hutu who wanted to protect them, were killed by their neighbors.
My Story as a Survivor of the 1994
Genocide
I was born and raised in Rwanda. I went to high school, and later to university. This was a miracle
since many other children from my ethnic group were not accepted for high school or university studies
because of government policies imposed against the Tutsi people of Rwanda.
In 1994 my village, like many other areas of Rwanda, became a place of killings. My family and I were
targeted. During the three months of the genocide we were chased from our home. We slept in the bush. I
personally escaped several times from groups of killers who wanted to cut open my head so that they could
see the brains of an educated Tutsi. One day I was marched at gunpoint with a group of 14 people. We
managed to run and asked for the assistance of French soldiers. They drove away in their vehicle. Only
seven of us survived. During that time, I lost my two beloved brothers and many other family members. I
saw many people killed, including relatives and others that I knew. During these sufferings, there was
also also the intimidation of Hutu neighbors who perhaps did not want to participate in the killings at
the beginning of the genocide. When our home was attacked and our possessions taken away, one Hutu neighbor
did not agree with these actions. He took one of our milk cows from where it had been taken and returned
it to us. As a result, he became an enemy of his own people, and was forced to go into hiding as if he
was a Tutsi. He was eventually murdered by the Hutu killers in our area.
After genocide, the country was full of bodies, blood, and bad smells. Many people were hopeless. But I
felt that I had survived for a reason. During the genocide I had promised God that if my life were saved, I
would help to care for orphans and other survivors. With a background in psychology, I noticed that so
many people were suffering from posttraumatic stress disorders. And I felt that I should dedicate my life
to help survivors of genocide in that area.
In 1996 I joined World Vision Rwanda (WVR) and worked four years for the Trauma Healing Program. I
became the first facilitator of a program developed in Rwanda to help those who had survived the genocide
the program was first implemented with WVR staff because we believed that only people who have been healed
could participate in the healing of others. That program became big part of my life. It allowed me to deal
with my own wounds, empowered me with the skills to help others and to experience how transformation can
take place in the most wounded people I have ever seen. I worked with people who have lived atrocities for
months and years, who have lost their loved ones, their properties, women who have been raped days after
days, children who lost parents and were obliged to take care of their young siblings, peoples who felt
that life was meaningless.
The Importance of Religious Faith in
Healing and Reconciliation
I am a witness of five important elements of healing and reconciliation.
1. Telling the truth before God and others: I believe that every suffering can have value. So much of the hatred in the world is based on the lie that we are different because of our backgrounds, race and culture. Without speaking the truth about what hurts us, reconciliation is impossible. There are many church members in Rwanda who sing and praise the Lord with loud voices, but donıt touch the truth about what happened. Outside the church, they do not talk to neighbors because they live in fear of the truth.
2. Listening with an open heart to othersı stories: Something that makes me sad about Rwanda is the number of people who talk loudly to themselves or to animals. Painful experiences stop burdening us when we can share them with someone who listens from the heart. We have learned in Rwanda that we need to listen to each other. This does not mean just people from your own ethnic group. Listening is an act of love. Listening builds bridges where there was formerly hatred and lack of trust.
3. Supportive relationships of others: This is related to listening. No one is an island. We are meant to live in a network of healthy and secure relationships. Personal change is only possible when there is the support of others who love us, who value us, who believe that we can grow and develop.
4. Sense of personal dignity and worth: I know a woman in Rwanda a widow with five children. During the genocide she was brutally raped day after day in front of her children. When I met her, she lived in extreme poverty in a ruined house without furniture. They slept on a dirt floor. She finds it difficult to care for her children. How can she have a sense of dignity in front of people who raped her? How can she feel valued before God and other people? How can she feel safe without being able to take care of her children?
5. Faith in a God who has suffered, forgiven and loves: Our faith gives us strength. For me it is very meaningful that Jesus was born in poverty, lived under Roman rule and was killed as a victim of violence and hatred. Before he died he forgave his killers. St. Paul talks about the ministry of reconciliation. For me, this means reconciliation with God who loves us, accepts us and forgives us with all our sins. But, as it says in the Gospels, we can never experience forgiveness if we do not forgive people who have wronged us. It is very painful but very necessary. Forgiveness does not stay in words, it is very costly and requires actions.
This all means moving from the prison of fear to freedom to live. Many genocide survivors in
Rwanda continues to live in a prison of fear. They deal with flashbacks, uncertain futures, and new threats of violence. Those who participated in the violence and their families also live in fear that they will be accused and convicted. Over 120,000 men and women are in prison accused of genocide crimes. Many will be released into their communities in the coming months. Everyone is afraid of what will happen. We need to move from fear to freedom, but this only can take place through a process of dealing with the past and moving forward by Godıs grace.
Trauma Workshops
To assist victims of violence, trauma workshops were developed by a Rwandese professor, Dr. Simon Gasibirege. The workshops use three different modules in which the above five elements are key factors. It is a process that helps to transform lives.
The workshops are held over 11 days. The average size of the group is 30-40 people. The program is
divided into three sessions of three days separated by an average period of one month, with an additional day at the beginning for the introduction and another day at the end to reflect upon conclusions. The themes of the three modules are:
1. bereavement
2. dealing with emotions
3. forgiveness and reconciliation
There are rules to protect the confidentiality and respect of others. Each person must be committed to tell the truth and to support others. Carefully developed exercises help them to share their own stories and to listen compassionately to each other.
The first session opens up participantıs wounds. Each person must share with the others in their small group what happened before, during and after genocide. Many participants find this to be very difficult. This is a time of intense emotions, sorrow, anger, and broken hearts. Some people go back home feeling wounded again. They may tell the facilitators that they hate them for making them relive such painful experiences, or say that they will never come back. But they always come back for the second module.
The second module helps participants understand and deal with emotions awakened in the first session. It helps people to accept their emotions and feel the freedom to express themselves. Most genocide survivors have never felt the freedom to express their feelings. This is the module that is most appreciated.
The module on forgiveness and reconciliation brings worries. Some people tell us that this is impossible! Perhaps it is something they have tried before in other ways without success. We begin by talking about living in peace with oneself, others in the community and even with the environment. This is a desire of
every human heart. Before we deal with forgiving others, we talk about forgiving oneself. Many genocide survivors feel guilty that they lived while so many others in their families died. They may even feel responsible for what they were not able to do for their families. Hutu families feel guilty for actions of family members. They may have strong sense of guilt that they did little, or nothing to protect neighbors. When personal forgiveness is experienced, then we can move to the process of forgiving others.
A Story from those Workshops
In one of our trauma workshops I met a woman who lost most of her family members, including her only
child during the genocide. That child had been the result of being raped prior to 1994. She was understandably very bitter about her life and did not trust anyone else. She was at the point of giving up her faith, her job, and her life in general. She was very hopeless when she began the trauma workshops.
She participated very actively from the beginning. She realized that she was not the only one to have
suffered. I could see the transformation-taking place. She did not wait for the final module to make
important life decisions. After the second module on emotions, she made an important announcement. She decided to get married.
For four years before the workshops, she had always said no to the man who loved her because she did not trust the future. Some other participants decided to support her as her new family members to replace those she had lost in the genocide. I will always remember her as an example of someone who God transformed through the trauma workshops. She moved from prison of fear to freedom and life. She learned to forgive people who have kept her as self-prisoner. Her forgiveness process started with herself.
Conclusion
What does this mean for people in Canada? I want to leave three points with you:
1. We are all vulnerable human beings with fears and broken hearts. We all need healing. And
healing is possible. It is a process that requires truthfulness, support and grace. We need to believe that each human being is a creation with dignity and worth.
2. We live in a broken world. We can all be involved in actions and attitudes that promote healing,
truth, justice, understanding and peace. There is no room for compromises.
3. Canada is the number one country in quality of life according to the United Nations. I am happy that Canada is my new home. At the same time I am Rwandese. Rwanda is a country that I love and that has needs crying of help.
Submitted by
Regine Uwibereyeho King
Email: uwibereyeho@yahoo.fr
Author Biography
My name is Regine Uwibereyeho King. I was born and raised in Rwanda, and am a witness and a survivor of the 1994 genocide. I am married and
moved to Canada in 2000.
I have an undergraduate degree in Psychology and Education from the National University of Rwanda, and I am now in my second year of the Masters level at
OISE/University of Toronto, Program of Counseling Psychology for Community Settings.
My experience has been enriched mainly by the four years I worked at
World Vision Rwanda, in its trauma healing program, first as a trauma trainer,
then as a facilitator of the trauma healing workshops and a trainer of other facilitators for the same workshops, and finally as a coordinator of that program.
During that time, I went through different workshops on trauma/memory healing and conflict resolution workshops; leadership, management, and stress inocculation
in organizations workshops. I participated in a cross-cultural Assessment on trauma and mental Illness conducted in Rwanda by John Hopkins University.
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